Devious Journal Entry

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KANKRI: Greetings, Cr9nus.

CRONUS: ey chief, howv'vwe you been?

KANKRI: Well I have 6een very, very well Cr9nus, thank y9u f9r asking.

CRONUS: that's great, kanny.

CRONUS: vwery vwery wvell, huh?

CRONUS: wvhat, you got laid or somethin?

CRONUS: or maybe did you get a newv toy for yourself?

KANKRI: Please Cr9nus if I was t9 c9mmit any s9rt 9f activity such as that I w9uld still 6e ar9und the 6eing that part99k said activity with me and als9 i'm t99 9ld f9r t9ys they are f9r wrigglers and y9unger mem6ers 9f s9ciety. If y9u must kn9w I g9t t9 spend the wh9le day with Latula 6ecause Mituna was 9ff with Kurl9z and she said that I was "rad".

CRONUS: no no, pailing toys kankri.

CRONUS: humans use them to help get themselvwes off.

CRONUS: anywvays.

CRONUS: latula's a fine lady. it's awvesome that she thinks that you're a fine one too

KANKRI: I c9uld have g9ne the rest 9f enternity with 9ut kn9wing that f9r starters, and I kn9w we are certainly getting s9mewhere in 9ur friendship/relati9nship, she d9esn't think i'm weird anym9re!

CRONUS: relationship, huh?

CRONUS: don't tell me you wvanna bang pyrope, kanny.

KANKRI: Why d9 y9u have t9 put it like that? I d9 n9t want her at my sexual disp9sal 6ut in a healthy red relati9nship, it is 69und t9 happen with my f9urty six step plan.

CRONUS: forty six step plan?

CRONUS: not going to happen, kankri.

CRONUS: i hate to break it to you man, but she's not going to leavwe Tuna for anything.

KANKRI: Cr9nus y9ur negativity has n9 effect 9n me, I am n9w 9n step nineteen and I have calculated what my chances with her are and they are at the seventy percent tile.

KANKRI: 6ef9re it was 9nly at the tenth.

CRONUS: look, i'm glad that you're going after someone

CRONUS: i knowv you're lonely as fuck and all of that

CRONUS: but latula, kankri?

CRONUS: she has mituna

CRONUS: she digs him- not evwen i wvant to get in the middle of that

CRONUS: sure i did at first

CRONUS: but they'vwe got something real, kan

KANKRI: I am n9t l9nely as fuck, and I was the 9ne wh9 liked her in that way way 6ef9re Mituna even th9ught a69ut devel9ping red feelings f9r her! And we knew each 9ther f9r sweeps 6ef9re I even had the nerve t9 ask her and here c9mes Mituna just str9lling al9ng and what? Five m9nths later they get themselves in a red relati9nship? H9w is that even fair!

CRONUS: it's not kan

CRONUS: i mean evweryone's tried to be in tuna's shoes

CRONUS: but don't try to fuck this up for them

KANKRI: L99k y9u d9n't even understand Cr9nus, y9u get t9 fall in l9ve with s9me9ne wh9 isn't even in a relati9nship!

KANKRI: I d9n't want t9 upset either 9f them 6ut I just feel weird when I see them t9gether.

KANKRI: I can't quite place the em9ti9n th9ugh.

KANKRI: Ugh, what sh9uld I d9?

CRONUS: it's jealousy

CRONUS: you're jealous

CRONUS: and do the only thing you can do

CRONUS: wvalk awvay from it

KANKRI: I can't th9ugh, I can't just 6e like "well since I have n9 chance with y9u i'll just c9mpletely f9rget that I have feelings f9r y9u." It d9esn't w9rk like that!



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