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About Deviant Jade Connors30/Female/Unknown Recent Activity
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Kurloz [KURLOZ] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DID YOU TELL TUNA. >

KANKRI: Excuse me?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < TUNA JUST CAME BACK FROM TALKING TO YOU, AND HE'S ALL QUIET AND SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM. >

KANKRI: I h9nestly d9n't have the faintest clue at what y9u're trying t9 get fr9m me, Kurl9z. All I kn9w is that y9u sh9uldn't 6e accusing me f9r Mituna's 6ehavi9r change f9r I had n9thing t9 d9 with it. He 6egan t9 quiet d9wn in the middle 9f his sentence then pr9ceeded t9 walk away fr9m me with9ut even a farewell.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO TALK ABOUT THEN, VANTAS? >

KANKRI: 6ees and a device that the humans intr9duced t9 him, s9mething called a Game 69y.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ANYTHING ELSE? >

KANKRI: Uhm, I 6elieve he menti9ned s9mething a69ut a j9ke he heard the 9ther day. Th9ugh, he c9uldn't tell it c9rrectly, c9nsidering that he delivered the punchline 6ef9rehand.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO? DID YOU GO INTO FULL FUCKING LECTURE MODE ON HIM AT ANY POINT? >

KANKRI: I f9rced a laugh. Y9u t9ld me the last time y9u g9t int9 this h9stile m9ve t9 laugh at his j9kes, even if I didn't find them funny. S9 I did.

KANKRI: Is there a pr96lem with that?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ME, MUTANT. DID YOU GO LECTURE MODE ON HIM? >

KANKRI: I think y9u sh9uld watch y9ur w9rds, Makara.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I THINK YOU SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ANSWER ME, VANTAS. >

KANKRI: I can't d9 69th, Kurl9z.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ANSWER, THEN SHUT UP. >

KANKRI: N9. I didn't. After I f9rced the laugh he 6egan t9 spin this wh9le st9ry a69ut what w9uld happen if that j9ke actually happened in real life, and if there were 6ees inv9lved, 6ees made 9ut 9f c9mputer pixels, and the 6ees ate h9ney als9 made 9ut 9f c9mputer pixels. Trust me, I c9uldn't get a w9rd in even if I wanted t9.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < DID YOU JUST STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE A DUMBASS AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE. >

KANKRI: Are y9u seri9usly g9ing t9 place the 6lame 9n me even if I did? Y9u kn9w that Mituna has a l9ng hist9ry with c9nstant changes in m99d, d9n't y9u think that that might have a fact9r in what's happening t9 him right n9w? I mean, l99k at him, he's laying face d9wn 9n the gr9und as we speak taking a g9ddamn nap. Perhaps he just needed a nap, y9u're his m9irail, y9u sh9uld kn9w this.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < HE DOESN'T NAP AT THIS TIME. >

KANKRI: Then s9mething's wr9ng with him, I d9n't kn9w! I just think that y9u need t9 st9p with this h9stile attitude 9f y9urs. I did n9thing, s9 6ack 9ff.

KANKRI: 6esides, he's 6eginning t9 eat fl9wers n9w and l99ks t9 6e in a 6etter m99d. It l99ks like whatever did 69ther him has 6egun t9 wear 9ff.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < FUCK, HE GETS SICK IF HE EATS THAT SHIT. >

KANKRI: Just. Let me handle it. -He pushes 6y Kurl9z and t9wards Mituna wh9 already has dirt, insects, and saliva dripping 9ut 9f his m9uth.-

KURLOZ: *he norrowed his eyes and strode after him*

KANKRI: -Kankri squats d9wn in fr9nt 9f Mituna, 6l9cking him fr9m his current meal.- Y9u sh9uldn't 6e eating that, Mituna. If y9u d9, it'll make y9u v9mit unc9ntr9lla6ly c9nsidering that y9ur digestive system w9n't 6e a6le t9 handle the c9ntent this s9rt 9f dirt and plant life has. If y9u pr9mise t9 cease with this, I'll pr9mise t9 give y9u a handful 9f gummy candy whenever this desire t9 eat dirt resurfaces. If I find 9ut that y9u keep up with this filthy ha6it 9f y9urs, y9u will n9t get the candy and I will have t9 inf9rm Latula 9f y9ur acti9ns. If she finds 9ut she may take away y9ur m9st fav9rite game fr9m y9u. S9, that 6eing said. D9n't eat the dirt. G99d things will happen if y9u d9n't. 6ad things will happen if y9u will. Understand? -Mituna l99ks up at him, sl9wly n9dding his head 6ef9re spitting up the chewed dirt and crushed insects 6ack 9n the gr9und.-

KURLOZ: *he just stood there in disbelief* SIGNS: < WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK...>

KANKRI: -Kankri sh99ed Mituna away fr9m the pile 9f dirt, having him g9 after a 6utterfly instead.- Y9u're welc9me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS? >

KANKRI: 6lasphemy?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < HOW THE MOTHERFUCK DID YOU DO THAT SHIT, VANTAS? >

KANKRI: Y9u have g9t t9 6e kidding me. Kurl9z, all y9u have t9 d9 is 6ri6e him with s9mething 6etter than dirt. He likes gummy candy, I'm n9w 96ligated t9 reward him with gummy candy whenever he gets a strange urge t9 c9nsume dirt. It's simple. Y9u sh9w him what c9uld happen if it ch9ices n9t g9 thr9ugh with the thing y9u d9n't want him t9 d9, like staying healthy 9r gifting him a reward f9r his g99d 6ehavi9r and then y9u sh9w him the c9nsequences if he decides t9 keep 9n d9ing what he's d9ing.

KANKRI: Ch99ses*

KANKRI: Y9u need t9 6e firm 6ut fair with him.

KANKRI: It isn't r9cket science.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU'RE PULLING, BUT I DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO ANY OF THAT, BUT I WILL GRANT YOU THE HONOR OF A THANK YOU. >

KANKRI: 9h 69y, this has g9t t9 6e the peak 9f my afterlife. Thank y9u s9 much, Kurl9z, I d9n't think I c9uld have asked f9r any m9re than this granted gratitude fr9m y9u. -Says in a c9mpletely m9n9t9ne v9ice.-

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < FUCK YOU, MUTANT. JUST BE GLAD I'M GREATFUL. >

KANKRI: I w9uld appreciate it if y9u st9pped referring me as "mutant". It's 9ffensive.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S WHAT YOU ARE. >

KANKRI: W9uld y9u like f9r me t9 call y9u "assh9le"? 6ecause, it is what y9u are after all.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < CAREFUL KANKRI....YOU'RE GETTING AWFUL KRANKI. DO YOU NEED A NAP TOO? >

KANKRI: 9h n9, y9u pulled 9ut the half 6aked nickname P9rrim gave t9 me 6ef9re the sessi9n even started. What will I ever d9 n9w that y9u've 6r9ught it 6ack? 6ecause, it isn't like every69dy d9esn't say that when I get int9 a f9ul m99d. N9 sir, y9u're the first, Kurl9z. Y9u 9riginal tr9ll, y9u. G9sh, I just feel the sudden urge t9 run 6ack t9 my hive and hide away f9r the rest 9f eternity, simply 6awling my eyes 9ut f9r y9u terri6le, terri6le nickname.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < SHUT THE FUCK UP MUTANT. I DON'T NEED ANY LIP FROM YOU. YOU'RE JUST LUCKY YOU LIVED AS LONG AS YOU DID, I SHOULD'VE CULLED YOU THE SECOND I SAW YOU. I SHOULD'VE PAINTED MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES WITH THAT PRETTY PRETTY RED BLOOD OF YOURS. IT'S ACTUALLY A MIRACLE THAT MY DANCESTOR HASN'T DONE THE SAME TO YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A DANCESTOR. HIS VOICE IS AS ANNOYING AS YOURS. HE SHOULD BE TORTURED IN THE FOULEST WAYS THEN KILLED INFRONT OF EVERYONE, IT'S WHAT THE MESSIAHS WOULD WANT. >

KANKRI: Kurl9z, why d9n't y9u d9 every9ne the fav9r and st9p m9ving y9ur hands ar9und 6ecause I pers9nally d9n't give a fuck a69ut what y9u have t9 say. I d9n't care a69ut what y9ur "messiahs" think a69ut me and I damn well d9n't give a fuck a69ut what y9u think a69ut me 9r my dancest9r. I simply d9n't care. Why d9n't y9u f9cus that expl9sive anger 9f y9urs 9n s9mething m9re pr9ductive, like figuring 9ut h9w t9 l99k after y9ur m9irail 6ecause y9u 96vi9usly d9n't kn9w what y9u're d9ing.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I KNOW PERFECTLY MOTHERFUCKING WELL HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY PALEST OF LOVES. BUT YOU TRY TAKING CARE OF HIM AND WORKING FOR THE MESSIAHS WHILE STILL TRYING TO FIND TIME FOR YOUR BELOVED MATE. SHIT AINT EASY, THEN AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? ALL YOU DO IS HANG AROUND THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A TROLL, CRONUS. AND THE FUCKING SLUT, PORRIM. AND, NOT TO MENTION, YOU SPEND SO MUCH FUCKING TIME ANNOYING ANY AND EVERYONE WITHIN A FOUR MILE RADIUS. >

KANKRI: Excuse y9u, Kurl9z. I d9n't 6elieve that y9u have the right t9 talk ill a69ut neither P9rrim n9r Cr9nus. They have their faults and 96vi9usly I have mine, that's m9st likely the reas9n why we're a6le t9 all get al9ng with 9ne an9ther, 9f c9urse we d9 run int9 s9me speed 6umps al9ng the way, wh9 d9esn't, 6ut y9u d9n't get that right t9 trash them. I d9. And I usually d9 it in fr9nt 9f them, then they ret9rt with a ja6 9f their 9wn. It's a strange friendship. At least they didn't g9 a6s9lutely 6erserk and make their ex matesprite c9mpletely deaf like a certain s9me69dy I kn9w, then pr9ceed t9 6reak it 9ff with them after sewing their m9uth shut.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE MEULIN MOTHERFUCKING DEAF, MUTANT. >

KANKRI: Yet y9u did, and instead 9f helping her 9ut y9u den9unced y9ur red relati9nship and casted y9urself 9ff t9 the side f9r m9nths at a time in 9rder t9 av9id her, pretty c9wardly if y9u ask me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YOU TRY FUCKING UP YOUR REDDEST LOVE'S LIFE ONE DAY, MAKES YA FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR ETERMITY. >

KANKRI: Whatever, Kurl9z, I h9nestly d9n't care.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < NOT A SURPRISE. >

KANKRI: Mhm.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE YOU KNOW. >

KANKRI: What is?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < THE DANCESTOR SHIT. WE CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER YET, EVERY TIME YOU TURN AROUND YOU SEE OUR DANCESTORS GETTING THEIR PALE HUG ON OR SOME WICKED SHIT LIKE THAT. >

KANKRI: Y9ur dancest9r seems t9 6e m9re 9pen minded than y9u are. I remem6er when y9u were like him, th9ugh that was als9 when y9u th9ught it was a g99d idea t9 c9nsume s9p9r slime.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YEAH BUT BROTHER, YOU SEEM TO FORGET, GAMZEE AINT USING THE SLIME NO MORE. THAT'S WHY IM SAYING ITS A MIRACLE. >

KANKRI: Hm, yeah, y9u're right. They're like the 6etter versi9ns 9f 9urselves.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < EXCEPT YOURS YELLS ALOT AND ACTS LIKE THE BADDEST BITCH ON THE BLOCK. >

KANKRI: I stand 6y my statement, Kurl9z.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < MITUNA AND I BOTH AGREE HE'D BE "CUTER" IF HE JUST STOPPED HIS SCREECHING FOR THREE DAMN SECONDS. >

KANKRI: I think y9u sh9uld stay away fr9m him if y9u feel that way. Karkat may make y9ur ears 6leed when he 6egins t9 h9ller like he's l9st his think pan 6ut he has g99d intenti9ns. D9n't mess with him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I THINK I CAN AND WILL DO WHAT I WANT. >

KANKRI: N9t if it inv9lves him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHY EXACTLY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? >

KANKRI: 6ecause he's my dancest9r and I will l99k after him f9r as l9ng as he visits these dreams 6u66les if it means that y9u w9n't c9rrupt him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < CORRUPT? BROTHER, NOW I'M OFFENDED. >

KANKRI: Y9u d9n't care when I'm 9ffended and right n9w I'm upset with y9u en9ugh t9 d9 the same.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WELL, YOU KNOW YOU CANT STOP ME FROM TALKING TO HIM. >

KANKRI: Are y9u g9ing t9 talk t9 him? 9r are y9u g9ing t9 use y9ur chuckle v99d99s 9n him. There is a difference.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I AINT GOING IN THAT FUCKED UP THINK PAN AGAIN. >

KANKRI: Again? Y9u used it 9n him?!

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING SIGNED, BROTHER. >

KANKRI: L99k, -Ja6s him in the chest with his index finger hard.- 6r9ther. If y9u ever, -Ja6.- ever, -Ja6.- EVER, -JA6.- even think a69ut using y9ur fucked up mind tricks 9n him again. We WILL have pr96lems, understand?

KURLOZ: *his sewed mouth turned upwards to a smile. he pointed behind kankri, to where karkat was staning, talking to meenah*

KANKRI: D9 it and suffer the c9nsequences.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT CONSEQUENCES? >

KANKRI: N9ne if y9u d9n't g9 thr9ugh with it.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ENLIGHTEN ME, BROTHER. IF I DO GO THROUGH WITH IT, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? >

KANKRI: I'll 6eat y9u senseless, Kurl9z. I'm n9t 9ne f9r vi9lence 6ut I w9n't let y9u d9 this.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I COULD JUST USE MY CHUCKLE VOODOOS ON YOU THEN. >

KANKRI: Yeah, 6ecause y9u're t99 pathetic en9ugh n9t t9 fight me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < AINT FIGHTING NO ONE INFRONT OF MY PALEST OF LOVES, TUNA'S MOTHERFUCKING NAPPING BEHIND US, BROTHER. >

KANKRI: Then d9 him the fav9r and keep away fr9m Karkat if y9u intend t9 use y9ur a6ilities 9n him. That's all I ask is that y9u never d9 that t9 him again. 9n any 9f them actually. They're t99 y9ung f9r that, they have m9re imp9rtant things t9 place their f9cus 9n.

KURLOZ: *he raised an eyebrow and strode over towards karkat*

KANKRI: -He turned as Kurl9z walked 6y him.- Kurl9z. D9n't.

KURLOZ: *he waved his comment away as he stepped into their conversation, pushing meenah away and grabbing karkat's hand. his eyes begand to flash a little, a little purple as he looked up at karkat. Karkat looked terrified for a second, befoe tilting his head in confusion.*

KANKRI: -Kankri clenched his fists in rage, st9mping 9ver t9 Mituna 9nce he saw what Kurl9z was d9ing. He 6r9ught 9ut his whistle, kneeled next t9 the sleeping Mituna and 6lew 9n it hard. The shrill s9und w9ke him fr9m his sleep and he instantly 6egan t9 scream and cry f9r Kurl9z. Thr9wing a tantrum where we lay, having a c9mplete meltd9wn.-

KURLOZ: *he sprinted to mituna, his eyes still flashing.he managed to get him to calm down, just staring and holding the terrified troll. He cradled him, patting his cheek as he glared at kankri. A deep, raspy and downright terrifying voide echoing in his think pan* BROTHER, WE WERE JUST GETTNG OUR TALK ON.

KANKRI: N9, Kurl9z, y9u never verified that and y9u kn9w what I was thinking when y9u waltz 9ver t9 him like y9u did! D9n't y9u even try and tell me that y9ur acti9ns were 9f the up m9st inn9cence! -Kankri held his hands 9n either side 9f his head, eyes furr9wing as the v9ice ech9ed thr9ugh9ut his skull. He talked thr9ugh gritted teeth.- Get 9ut 9f my hand, Kurl9z. Get 9ut right n9w.

KURLOZ: *the vice got louder* I AINT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

KANKRI: Y9u had me w9rried.

KANKRI: I d9n't resp9nd easily t9 threats.

KURLOZ: *he rolled his eyes, setting mituna down, after kising his cheek* YOU DONT RESPOND TO ANYTHING EASILY.

KANKRI: Y9u d9n't kn9w h9w I resp9nd t9 anything 9ther than what y9u've made me resp9nd t9 which in this case w9uld 6e threatening me, degrading me, 6elittling me, d9ing the same f9r my friends, and using 9ffensive slurs against me. The 9nly reas9n I've did what iv'e d9ne is 6ecause 9f y9u.

KURLOZ: WHAT CAN I SAY? IT'S IN MY BLOOD, BROTHER.

KANKRI: N9, it's just 6ecause y9u're an ign9rant, cruel, and all ar9und awful tr9ll. This isn't a69ut 6l99d, if it was d9 y9u think that y9u w9uld have him as a m9irail and Meulin as a flush crush? 6ack 9n Alternia that w9uld have never 6een 9kay and y9u kn9w that.

KURLOZ: *he rolled his eyes*

KANKRI: Fine. R9ll y9ur eyes 9n me. I'm taking Karkat and I'm talking Meenah and we're all leaving.

KURLOZ: *karkat was standing behind kankri the entire time, watching the whole thing. then he spoke.* "YOU"RE TAKING ME, WHERE EXACTLY?"

KANKRI: -He st99d up and faced Karkat.- Away fr9m here.

KURLOZ: "ANY VAGUER?"

KANKRI: A place that isn't where we are right n9w.

KURLOZ: "ANY PARTICULAR REASON WHY? YOU CAN'T JUST EXPECT ME TO WALTZ AROUND THE BUBBLES WITH YOU OF ALL FUCKING TROLLS YOU KNOW."

KANKRI: Y9u, -P9ints t9 Karkat.- Are n9t t9 ass9ciate with him. -P9ints t9 Kurl9z.- He's danger9us and I d9n't want t9 see y9u get harmed. I kn9w, I kn9w, I'm n9t much 9f a 6etter 9pti9n 6ut if y9u all9w me t9 get y9u 9ut 9f this area with Meenah, might I add, I'll leave y9u 6e.

KURLOZ: "MY FUCKING MOIRAI DESCRBES EVERYONES DEATHS IN DETAILS AS WE DRIFT OFF TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE SLEEP IN A PILE OF SHITTY HORNS. HE ALSO MAKES OUT WITH THE FUCKING HEAD OF HIS DEAD FLUSH CRUSH AND PLAYS WITH THE OTHER SEVERED HEADS, I THINK I KNOW DANGEROUS, AND SKELETON GUY DOESN'T LOOK DANGEROUS TO ME."

KANKRI: L99k, Karkat, I d9n't expect y9u t9 understand just please listen t9 me. Even if it is just a 9ne time deal, listen t9 me. We need t9 get 9ut 9f here. All9w me t9 esc9rt y9u t9 9ne 9f y9ur friends at least, human 9r 9therwise. Why d9n't we search f9r the Pyr9pe girl 9r the 9ther Maryam. Hell, we can even g9 after the human 69y y9u've 6een sh99ting heart eyes at every time he isn't l99king.

KURLOZ: *Karkat glared at Kankri for a moment before plopping himself down next to Kurloz, Kurloz meerly smirked in victory*

KANKRI: Really, Karkat, really.

KURLOZ: *Karkat shrugged* "YES REALLY."

KANKRI: Why must y9u 6e s9 stu669rn? I'm trying t9 l99k 9ut f9r y9u.

KURLOZ: "I'M NOT A GRUB, KANKRI."

KANKRI: I kn9w y9u're n9t and I never said y9u are, y9u just d9n't kn9w Kurl9z all t99 well. 6asing him 9ff y9ur m9irail d9esn't c9unt as kn9wing him either, that w9uld 6e like 9thers saying they kn9w y9u 6ecause they kn9w me and vice versa.

KURLOZ: "IF PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS YOU, I WOULD HONESTLY LIE DOWN AND DIE."

KANKRI: Exactly! Y9u're helping me pr9ve a p9int here, Karkat.

KURLOZ: "I THINK I'LL LIE DOWN AND DIE JUST FOR THAT STATEMENT."

KANKRI: Karkat, n9w y9u're just 6eing 9verdramatic.

KURLOZ: "MY TOMBSTONE WILL READ 'HERE LIES KARKAT, HE DIED BECAUSE HE HELPED KANKRI.'"

KANKRI: 9kay, n9w that is the definiti9n 9f 9ver dramatic. D9 y9u h9nestly want t9 die here with all the Cr9nus's that swarm these 6u66les? N9t t9 menti9n the 9ther versi9ns 9f myself? Imagine that, Karkat. Imagine that 6eing y9ur entire afterlife if y9u decide t9 lay d9wn and die right here and right n9w.

Cronus [CRONUS] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

KANKRI: Cr9nus, what are y9u d9ing in my kitchen.

CRONUS: -stops in his tracks with a bunch of kankri's food in his arms.- oh.

CRONUS: oh, boy. youre home. i knevw that. i TOTALLY knevw that.

KANKRI: 9h, did y9u? Y9u must have 6een in the pr9cess 9f preparing a meal f9r the 69th 9f us then, c9rrect?

CRONUS: i just thought, you knovw, i should go drop by and pay my 8EST pal a vwisit, since i vwas in the neighborhood.

CRONUS: uh, YES.

CRONUS: yes, thats exactly vwhat i vwas going to do.

CRONUS: you knovw me.

CRONUS: generous old cronus.

KANKRI: Right. N9w, y9u sh9uld get t9 that, 6ef9re the f99d starts t9 sp9il.

KANKRI: It l99ks like y9u have an awful l9t t9 w9rk with here, just a69ut everything I 9we really.

KANKRI: We w9uldn't want it t9 g9 t9 waste.


turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

TG: theoretically

TG: if i needed a place to crash

TG: could i find your couch a chill pad for a few hours

TG: i need to lay low

TG: at least until morning

EB: did you attempt to break into macy's again after hours?

TG: not this evening no

TG: these were more, specific circumstances

TG: but if you dont question why i have a lot (and i mean a lot) of swedish fish

TG: it could all be yours

EB: dave, are you being serious right now?

EB: where did you break into this time?

EB: chuck e. cheeses?

EB: walmart?

TG: i tried to live in my own house okay

TG: like jut

TG: just

TG: live there like a normal person

TG: now

TG: the swedish fish are a one time offer

TG: a vow of silence on the subject for three average sized packages of swedish fish

TG: and not the colored kind

TG: just the good ol red ones

EB: i don't know, dave.

EB: i do enjoy the multicolored swedish fish.

EB: they have more variety in flavor.

TG: but the first flavor is the best

TG: nevermind

TG: im sure they are much cooler public attractions out there

TG: this seven eleven does hold a certain appeal to my more mundane tastes

EB: jesus christ.

EB: don't break into any more stores!!!

TG: i wasnt breaking into a store

TG: im in here as a patron

EB: a patron?

TG: seven elevens are 24 hour facilities do you even know

TG: i have bought a lot of swedish fish in the past twenty minutes

TG: biding my time

EB: you know what?

EB: i think you should get over here.

EB: pronto.

TG: what

EB: before you do something stupid.

TG: i dont do stupid things

TG: shit happens to me and i roll with it

TG: i should write a novel

TG: This Shit Is Weird: that dave strider spectacle

EB: would that be considered a confession if a police officer were to read it?

EB: i think it might be.

TG: not really

TG: dude in all seriousness im just hanging by all the twinkies

EB: they still sell twinkies?

TG: oh yeah

TG: loads

TG: look uh

TG: i take it back i think ill just take a bit of a tour around town

TG: i dont need to crash or anything like that just like

TG: ill talk to you tomorrow okay

EB: why? i don't have an issue with you spending a few hours at my house.

EB: even if you're not going to be conscious for a majority of that time.

EB: is something wrong?

TG: no no nothings wrong

TG: i just changed my mind

TG: walkings a good and dandy thing to do

TG: pretty nifty

TG: using your feet

EB: uhm, dave?

EB: do you need me to come and pick you up or something?

TG: what

TG: what are you even getting out of my messages

TG: is that what signals im sending

EB: that you're walking around town at two in the morning with your pockets filled with swedish fish?

EB: that's what kind of signals i'm getting anyway.

EB: correct me if i'm wrong.

TG: is it two in the morning

TG: when did it become two

EB: well, time doesn't really stop. so.

TG: wild shit

EB: right?

TG: but uh

TG: i dont know if company is desirable right now

TG: im enjoying myself just out in the open anyways?

TG: sometimes you gotta observe the town you feel me

TG: chill in the park

TG: find some weird pictures to take

TG: ill just talk to you tomorrow

TG: rain or shine

TG: thats a promise okay?

EB: i don't know, dave.

EB: something doesn't really seem right here.

TG: elaborate then

EB: you just wanted my company not five minutes ago, and now you don't?

EB: like, was it something i said?

EB: or do you not want me to find something out.

TG: you didnt say anything

TG: if thats an indication

TG: just like

TG: the more i thought about it that more i realized that i needed to chill it out solo

TG: you know

TG: sometimes people need space

EB: :/

EB: are you sure you don't want to come over?

EB: it doesn't sound like you're going home tonight.

TG: it doesnt sound like that does it huh

EB: it does, actually.

TG: yeah that

TG: words

TG: maybe ill pop over tomorrow

TG: okay?

EB: could you at least reassure me that you're going to sleep somewhere that isn't the parks playground equitment?

TG: that

TG: is not something i can insure

EB: dave, say it.

EB: or obviously don't say it, because you would be lying to me if you did.

TG: :/

EB: don't give me that.

EB: that's my thing!

TG: B/

EB: and now it's your thing.

EB: well played, strider, well played.

TG: damn right

TG: would it be lying if i instead remained on my feet the whole night

TG: so in turn there would be no snoozerooing on slides and shit

EB: it wouldn't be lying but i wouldn't really be too happy about that decision.

TG: well that is what i can give you

TG: like a small french dish on a really big plate

TG: thats portions for you

EB: i am seriously debating on whether or not i should come looking for you.

TG: uuuh

TG: youve got too much of a baby face for downtown man

TG: theyll chew you up

TG: not advisable

EB: are we talking about the same downtown here?

TG: yes

TG: ?

EB: because, if i remember correctly, the most dangerous thing downtown is that soccer mom who drinks too many wine coolers.

TG: well shes pretty hardcore not gonna lie

TG: so are the boys in the salmon pink shorts

TG: dangerous and shady place down here

EB: with it's well lit streets and neighborhood watch programs.

TG: thats only your side of the block egbert

TG: we in the apartment complexes got city circuitry

TG: meaning flickering well lit streets

TG: and only semi trustworthy neighborhood watch programs

EB: oh shit!

EB: that changes just about everything!

TG: definitely does

TG: you dont even know my world

EB: what world would that be exactly?

EB: i'm thinking earth.

EB: which is where i, concidentally, live.

TG: did you know you have this tendency to make me feel like everything is okay

TG: because you do have that ability

EB: hey, if i was doing the exact opposite i wouldn't really be much of a best friend now would i?

TG: youd be a pretty lousy one yeah

EB: in fact, i think i would denounce our friendship if that ever became a thing.

TG: not if i did first

EB: no way, i would totally do it first!

EB: in the most dramatic way possible.

EB: like, i would win an emmy for that shit.

EB: or a grammy.

TG: i dont doubt it for a second

TG: do you think i could still like

TG: crash over at your place

TG: i didnt completely erase any opportunities to do that did i

EB: i don't know, man, i have all these homeless people pouring in after i placed the offer on the table for all to see.

EB: but, i do think that i can reserve a spot on the couch for you.

TG: id like that

TG: i can be over in like fifteen is that cool

EB: it is!

TG: wonderful

TG: splattastic

TG: ill see you soon okay?

EB: okay.

EB: also, i made cookies.

EB: so, that's a thing.

TG: :o

TG: holy fucking shit

EB: run, forrest, run!

TG: i cannot

TG: sadly i am only an eel

TG: did i just quote spongebob

TG: also why are you cooking at 2 am

EB: i'm baking.

EB: there's a difference.

TG: okay then why

TG: are you baking

EB: i don't know, this is what i usually do when i get bored.

EB: why are you questioning it?

TG: i mean it IS two in the morning

TG: as you so pointed out

EB: hey, why are you wondering around town at two in the morning?

EB: hm?

TG: B/

TG: dont kill the mood dude

EB: i'm just saying!

TG: give me my few moments of happiness first will you

TG: also i nabbed my bike and went to town cut my eta in half

TG: or maybe 2/3

EB: what's an eta?

TG: estimated time (of) arrival

EB: those cookies must have really motivated you!

TG: more like i just really wanted a bike

TG: my bike

TG: also theres signs of a storm in the midst so

EB: hurry up then!

TG: I AM

TG: woah ok all caps calm it down

TG: im already in your neighborhood

EB: roger that.

TG: ding dong

turntechGodhead [TG] is now Dave Strider [DAVE]. ~~ 1 ~~

ectoBiologist [EB] is now ectoBiologist [John]. ~~ 2 ~~

John: -hurries over to the door, taking a few seconds to open it up since he still has his oven mitts on.- hey!

DAVE: -Dave pushes his shades up just a little higher, conscious of their position as he loiters by the door. Its been a long night.- hey yourself

DAVE: smells like heaven in here

DAVE: nice mitts by the way

John: -pulls off his ghost buster themed oven mitts.- i try to get up with the latest and greatest baking fashion.

John: are you going to come in or are you planning on taking the front porch instead of the couch.

DAVE: -A nod of respect, and Dave steps in. Off come his shoes, but he keeps his sweatshirt on, its a little chilly out there!- im coming im coming

DAVE: im a sucker for porchside conversation

DAVE: but hey are those cookies ready

DAVE: i might need to test your handiwork

John: i just pulled them out! make sure you blow on them before going crazy.

John: we don't want another incident.

John: -he shuts the door behind dave, locking it just in case he forgets to do so before heading off to bed later on.-

DAVE: -So he trails to the kitchen. He drops his looted candied fish on the table, so the other could help himself before getting a glass of water for himself.-

DAVE: need anything to drink?

John: -he follows behind him, tossing his oven mitts next to the boxes of fish shaped candies.- no, i'm fine. you're getting water though? i try to get the fridge stocked with at least one jug of apple juice, feel free to get a glass of that.

DAVE: nah im just thirsty

DAVE: its a liquid h2o thirst you know

DAVE: walking around does tire a bro out

John: haha, yeah, i guess it does!

John: how long were you out there for anyways?

DAVE: -He drinks, shrugging before going for the cookies. Who gives a shit, he could deal with a burnt tongue. He scoops one up swiftly, examining.-

DAVE: couple hours i think

DAVE: it was like ten when i last checked

John: wow, what were you doing all this time? just walking around?

John: and obviously spending a ton of money on swedish fish.

DAVE: -Ow, his poor fingers. He takes a bite, going for a napkin while holding it in his mouth. While he wasnt smiling before, it certainly isnt there now.- mmhghhp

DAVE: -Cookie to napkin. Hell, thats good. He swallows.- just walking yeah

DAVE: also i bartered 300 chuck e cheese tickets for all of that so no money was spent

DAVE: (( brb real quick! ))

John: ((okay!))

John: -john goes over to the tray of cookies perched on top of the stove and turns on the built in fan, almost instantly it begins to cool down the baked goods.- you went to chuck e cheese at ten o clock then walked around for the remainder of the night?

John: i'm a little hurt that you didn't invite me along. we're practically the kings of chuck e cheese!

DAVE: no man i went to seven eleven twice between 10 o clock and now

DAVE: that guy doesnt care about actual currency

DAVE: hes saving up for a light up chuck e cheese sign replica

DAVE: shits like 16000 tickets

John: huh.

DAVE: -He rubs his neck, drinking again before finishing up his cookie. Great shit. Johns always been a great cook.-

DAVE: ill invite you next time okay

DAVE: when im not out of my own house just because of things

John: you better!

DAVE: you have my word egbert

DAVE: swear on my life

John: that's all i need.

John: do you want some more of these things?

DAVE: a couple yeah

DAVE: like three

John: three?

DAVE: yeah so then you got four

DAVE: four cookies and its a square

John: wow, thanks! i was really just planning on you wolfing them down.

DAVE: i dont want to spoil your hard work dude

DAVE: im not really hungry myself so four is just

DAVE: i dunno its even

John: you know, i'm really starting to make these a habit.

DAVE: -Helping himself, Dave scrutinizes the batch, deciding which ones are worthy to be consumed.-

DAVE: how come

DAVE: does it help to bake or something

John: i have a lot on my plate right now, school, my job, etc., etc.

John: baking just takes my mind off of things.

John: dear god, i'm becoming my father.

DAVE: well thats not necessarily a bad thing you know

DAVE: i mean its good

DAVE: to have something that helps you relax

DAVE: thats always a plus

John: yeah, i'm sure you're rooting for this habit to stay strong.

John: that way you'll never have to cook for yourself again!

John: seriously, i made a thanksgiving meal last week.

DAVE: and you didnt invite me

DAVE: last week all i had in the fridge was fucking mozerella sticks

DAVE: for a week

John: i asked if you wanted to come over for dinner!

John: and you said no, because you were feasting on mozerella sticks.

DAVE: mozerella sticks and grilled ass cheese

DAVE: im also pretty sure i was too sleep deprived to even recognize i was looking a gift horse in the mouth

DAVE: to be fair

John: if you aren't too sleep deprived tomorrow, i can make us some homemade pizza and garlic bread.

DAVE: dont make me cry

John: i'm going to make you cry.

John: and for desert, chocolate lava cakes.

DAVE: -He picks his prey, sticking to only a second and nibbling on it.- youre really what true friendship is

DAVE: as long as i can help

John: i'll put you on mixing duty.

DAVE: rad

DAVE: but dude

DAVE: why dont we hit the sack

DAVE: like old times

DAVE: you know when we used to sleep

John: in the same bed?

DAVE: i mean ive still got dibs on the couch so whatever youre cool with i mean

DAVE: same

John: dude, i'll sleep in the same bed as you.

John: we can put a movie in and everything!

John: or we could just go on netflix.

DAVE: that so cheesy though

John: netflix isn't cheesy.

DAVE: wed be in utter cheese land

DAVE: its all cheesy

DAVE: im fucking in

DAVE: lets do it

John: for a second, i was afraid that you were going to say that you weren't up to it!

John: but i knew you couldn't possibly turn down that offer.

DAVE: you know me too well then

DAVE: should we board up your cookies or leave em out

John: i don't feel like getting out the tubberware.

John: lets just leave them out.

DAVE: then lead the way

John: lead the way, like you don't know where my room is. -jabs him in the side with his elbow, already backing out of the room.-

DAVE: -A snort, a hint of a smile. He follows behind him, setting his cup down before stuffing his hands in his pockets.-

DAVE: i definitely dont

DAVE: like your house? completely novel

John: you're so full of it!

DAVE: you know you love it

John: i do.

John: i really do.

DAVE: dont make me blush mr. rochester think of the children

DAVE: what will people think

John: wait, dave, stop walking, it'll ruin what i'm about to do.

DAVE: wh

DAVE: -He stops, still, blinking behind his shades.- youre making me nervous now

John: seriously? calm down, it's going to be really cool.

DAVE: how cool are we talking

DAVE: like on a scale of one to ten

John: fourteen.

DAVE: holy shit

DAVE: lay it on me

John: -john wraps an arm around daves waist, the other holding onto his hand as he dips him low to the ground.- frankly, my dear, i don't give a damn.

DAVE: oh ym god

John: reanacting gone with the wind is possibly the cooliest thing anybody could ever do!

DAVE: -Dave grips his hand as tightly as he can. Is he blushing? He might as well be. But his shades slip, and he immediately rears, to get upright and fix them. But thats a little tricky given his current position.-

DAVE: john i think im dead

DAVE: i need you to know that im dead because im definitely dead

DAVE: im gonna fall

DAVE: can you not drop me

DAVE: stop being cool thats so not okay

John: -he slowly postitions back to his feet, immediately pointing at his shaded eye after dave is able to hold himself up.-

John: what was that.

DAVE: um

John: do you have a black eye?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: well

DAVE: you see

John: dave, what the fuck? did you get jumped?

DAVE: no what no

DAVE: thats not

DAVE: -He waves his hands, backing up quickly.- i wasnt jumped

DAVE: its fine dude

John: here, let me see. -he reaches for his shades.-

DAVE: woah no

DAVE: dude please dont

DAVE: it doesnt need your eyeballs attention its fine and

DAVE: just a grand ol dandy thing its just a little bruise

DAVE: i uh

DAVE: hit my face on a doorknob

DAVE: just slipped and

DAVE: you know wham

John: a doorknob?

DAVE: yeah uh

John: dave, how stupid do you think i am?

DAVE: its completely plausible

John: you didn't hit it on a doorknob!

DAVE: people do that

John: dave, it looked really swollen! just let me see how bad it is, okay?

DAVE: its not swollen its just

DAVE: you know discolored

DAVE: i iced it at the 7/11 man

DAVE: 300 tickets gets you a lot more than just swedish fish

John: well, now you're going to take your shades off and re ice it.

DAVE: john

DAVE: its fine

DAVE: it doesnt even hurt

John: -slides a finger under his shade and jabs his finger into the bruise.-

DAVE: -Giving a pained noise, Dave rears back, just slapping his hand.- what the fuck dude thats my fucking eye

DAVE: dont touch it what the fuck

John: that wasn't your eye! that was the fucking bruise and you know it!

John: just take off your glasses and let me see!

DAVE: bro

DAVE: can i just

DAVE: say that i really dont want to

DAVE: like at all i dont want to look at it or anything

DAVE: and i dont want to

DAVE: i dunno i dont want to talk about it

DAVE: ill take them off if you promise not to talk about it

John: ...

John: why can't you talk about it with me?

John: i tell you everything, you can do the same with me.

DAVE: because im really bad about facing facts and im really bad about dealing with things

DAVE: its not like i dont know that youre not someone i can go to john

DAVE: its just

DAVE: hard to explain right now

DAVE: and its not a matter of not trusting you or anything

DAVE: its just that i dont want to talk about it

DAVE: that doesnt have anything to do with you

John: it's whatever.

DAVE: youre getting upset

John: no i'm not.

John: if you don't want to talk about it i'm not going to force you.

John: just let me see what's going on with your eye.

DAVE: -A sigh. He slides his shades off, looking down at them instead of at the other. True to his word, the bruise isnt that swollen. But its still dark, and nasty enough, a nice crescent around his eye.-

DAVE: happy?

John: no.

DAVE: yeah i thought you were gonna say that

John: do you want an ice pack?

DAVE: frozen peas normally work better

DAVE: do you got any of those?

DAVE: if not dude, i think id rather just watch that movie

John: i have peas and i have string beans, i don't know if they work as well as the former but i still like to give out some options.

DAVE: peas are better

DAVE: why cant we go back to middle school

DAVE: it was hell but i mean

DAVE: the only thing i was worried about then-- well wait

DAVE: lets go back to elementary school

DAVE: where the most stressful part of the day was when recess happened and no one remember who was it last in the game of tag

John: dave, you're not making any sense.

John: why are you bringing this up?

DAVE: i wish we didnt have to worry as much as we do now

DAVE: like i wish

DAVE: hell

DAVE: i wish things were easier

DAVE: i guess

John: dave, tell me what's wrong.

DAVE: -Another sigh, heavier, and he hangs his head, pocketing his shades.- ill get the peas

DAVE: just

DAVE: i dont know john its kind of everything

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: when i was out there like

DAVE: walking around?

DAVE: i thought i was just gonna keep on going until the next town

DAVE: or the next one

DAVE: i didnt know where i was going but i wanted to keep on it

DAVE: in hopes that maybe there wouldnt be a shitty apartment waiting for me

John: you were going to leave?

DAVE: it was stupid

DAVE: it wasnt really thinking it through i mean

DAVE: he kind of gave me the boot so i didnt have anything packed? so it didnt make sense

DAVE: i think i just wanted to see if there was any place better

John: wait.

John: just, fucking wait.

DAVE: uh

John: did bro throw you out???

DAVE: no no we just

DAVE: yelled a lot and he mentioned like pest control and dancing girls or something or another

DAVE: he wasnt making a lot of sense

DAVE: and it was obvious that i wasnt really welcome

John: is that how you got the uhm... -gestures to the black eye.-

John: did he do that to you?

DAVE: -His shoulders shake, just a little, like hes shuddering.- i know what youre going to say and

DAVE: he wasnt in his best state of mind you know

DAVE: tired, probably drunk

DAVE: i mean that doesnt constitute the most understanding of ones actions

DAVE: hell fall asleep and ill be able to get back in and go to bed

John: dave. just, stop.

DAVE: ...

John: i feel like this explains a whole hell of a lot.

DAVE: probably huh

John: like, the time you got three concussions in sixth grade.

John: or the time you broke your legs in eighth grade.

DAVE: ...

John: not to mention that he had your front teeth knocked out after christmas break.

DAVE: yeah i was right

DAVE: talking about this was going to make me nauseous

DAVE: can we sit down or something or just

DAVE: not talk about this

John: i think we haven't talked about this long enough.

John: you can go sit down, i'll go get the peas.

DAVE: where

DAVE: your bed the couch

DAVE: where am i sitting

John: anywhere. i don't care. i'll find you one way or another.

John: just go sit.

John: -he walks out of the room without another word.-

DAVE: -Shit. He makes it to the couch and plops down. Hands set his shades aside. One look at his reflection and he shoves them away, one hand diving into his hair as he waits.-

John: -john stays in the kitchen for the next ten minutes, one could hear him cursing up a storm and slamming various objects around, at one point he throws a few glasses onto the ground, shattering them in the process. after he cleans up his mess he snatches the frozen peas out of the freezer and comes back into the room, rubbing at his reddening eyes.- here. -he places the bag into dave's hand.- pretend that i had to search the freezer for them.

DAVE: -He could hear him, throwing, kicking, his own personal fit. It made sense, otherwise Dave assume hed be the one getting yelled at. He forced down his personal tremors, rubbing hands over hands to try and still the shakes that overwhelmed him. Once he returns, he takes the peas, unable to say much of anything else but an apology.-

DAVE: john im sorry

DAVE: im so sorry okay i -Head hangs. Ice pack goes to his bruise, pressing, hoping to soothe.- im just sorry

John: i'm sorry.

John: i should have been more suspicious of your stories. i should have been able to catch on quicker.

DAVE: i didnt want you to know

DAVE: i didnt want anyone to know

DAVE: the stories werent created for you to jump over

John: i know what the stories were for, dave.

DAVE: then you should know that you dont have to apologize

John: easier said then done.

DAVE: right

DAVE: uh

DAVE: do you want uh

DAVE: to sit down or something?

DAVE: i mean i know im already sitting but if two people sat it could be a real sitting party ya feel

John: i want to go over to your apartment and snap his neck.

DAVE: now that is something i will not allow

DAVE: not in the sense that i am defending him

DAVE: but that you dont need the murder charge and he doesnt deserve a death like that

DAVE: just

DAVE: john cmere would you

DAVE: can we hug this shit out

John: -by this point in the conversation he's pacing back and forth with a hand over his mouth, staring intensely at the carpet. he finally puts it to rest at dave's request for a hug, standing there for a moment before taking a seat on the couch, sliding close to him.-

DAVE: -He sets the peas down, shifting in his weight to get an arm around him, bringing it in. He tucks John against his shoulder, a hand just tentatively pushing his own hair back.-

DAVE: i hate seeing you this angry

John: -john wraps both arms around him, glaring at a potted plant on the other side of the room.- i want to throw a temper tantrum for the next three days since murder is clearly out of the question.

ectoBiologist's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

ectoBiologist [John] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

DAVE: instead how about i just stay here and hug you and keep hugging you huh

John: you're going to have to let go sometime.

John: like when i have to take a piss.

DAVE: -Both arms come down, and he tightens his grip. Discreetly, he kisses his forehead, eyes squeezing shut.- youre gonna have to drag me there then

DAVE: not letting go for the world

John: -he sniffs and wipes his eyes.- that's so unsanitary.

John: you know, i should be the one holding you. i'm making this about me. come on, let's switch.

DAVE: but youre so warm

DAVE: do i have to

John: no.

DAVE: -Rubbing his back, Dave smooches his forehead again, just to make sure it was okay.- lets ascertain that youre okay first

DAVE: ive been dealing with this a long ass time you know

John: don't remind me.

DAVE: sorry

John: it's okay.

DAVE: the point is that id rather focus on you

DAVE: right now

John: i want to figure out a way to make this better though.

DAVE: ill be out of the house soon enough

DAVE: ive been saving up

DAVE: for my own apartment

John: you could.

John: you could stay here.

DAVE: john

DAVE: i couldnt put that on you

DAVE: i dont know i mean

DAVE: thatd be a lot on you and your pop

DAVE: and while that means

DAVE: hell more than you can imagine i just

DAVE: id have to think about it

John: we could afford a third person.

John: we don't even need to tell my dad if you don't want to.

John: just, tell him that a pipe broke in your room.

John: that it's completely flooded.

DAVE: yeah i dont really want your dad

DAVE: knowing you know

DAVE: he might take it worse than you

John: oh he would kill him.

John: no doubt.

DAVE: hell

DAVE: ill see about apartments first okay

DAVE: id rather be somewhere that he wouldnt like

DAVE: know you know?

DAVE: not that hed do anything just that

DAVE: id like to play it safe

DAVE: is there anything i can do to help you fell better?

John: don't go back, man.

DAVE: i have to go back at some point

DAVE: pick up clothes

DAVE: collect my cash

John: can we at least stake out the place first?

John: make sure he isn't there?

DAVE: if you want

John: yeah.

DAVE: would that help

DAVE: are you gonna be okay?

John: it doesn't matter, are you going to be okay?

DAVE: it does matter

DAVE: once im safer ill be fine

John: mm.

John: i'm sorry for bumming you out.

John: we could have been in the middle of weekend at bernie's by now.

DAVE: probably

DAVE: but dont be sorry

DAVE: i was kinda on this track all night

DAVE: and you needed to know

DAVE: i understand that more than i did before

DAVE: i should have told you

John: it's hard to do that, from what i heard at least.

DAVE: harder than anything ive ever done yeah

John: i won't take the it to heart.

DAVE: please dont

DAVE: because i trust you john

DAVE: more than anyone

DAVE: could i get my turn as the baby penguin in this hug fest

DAVE: maybe if thats cool

John: consider me the mother penguin.

John: or the father penguin.

John: it really depends on the season.

DAVE: i wouldnt know

DAVE: never was big on this documentaries

John: you never seen march of the penguins?

DAVE: never dude

John: don't waste your time, the only decent part of the movie is that morgan freeman is narrating the entire movie.

DAVE: i only watch movies completely narrated by morgan freeman though

John: dave, you're slacking.

DAVE: im actually smiling if you didnt notice

DAVE: give yourself a pat on the back

John: -john unlatches himself from the other, moving his arms from dave's waist to his neck, guiding his head to the crook of his shoulder.-

John: i saw your smile.

John: it wasn't even a smirk, like it was an actual smile!

John: wow.

John: i feel like i just saw jesus.

DAVE: -His hands are warm, and he goes easy. Dave falls against him, arms getting around his middle so he can nuzzle in. Its stuck there now, wide and dimpled though hidden against Johns shoulder.-

DAVE: always making me feel better

DAVE: you really are magic or some shit

DAVE: are you sure you didnt get a letter to hogwarts

John: i got a coupon from the bookstore once and it had a picture of a harry potter book printed on the front.

John: does that count?

DAVE: yes

DAVE: youre in dude

DAVE: lets go to london

John: i'm going to have to work on my british accent.

DAVE: pip pip

DAVE: we will get a start on that wont we chum?

John: oh my god!!! dave! no!!!!

John: -whispers.- you're so baaaaaad.

DAVE: -He snorts, laughter rumbling through him. Genuine, real.-

DAVE: i think im really fucking tired

John: dude, you're like a friggin gremlin. bad things happen to you after midnight.

DAVE: guess so

DAVE: are we gonna crash here or are we gonna end up sleeping in your room

DAVE: thats the real question

John: my room.

John: you have to check out my new bedsheets.

DAVE: might want to hurry

DAVE: im falling victim to fatigue

John: i'm going to try and carry you.

John: noodle arms don't fail me now!

DAVE: uh oh

DAVE: be careful

DAVE: do i need to help

DAVE: i can help

John: i got it, i got it!

John: gosh, let me just get your goddamn life alert in case you fall down!

DAVE: pfft

DAVE: life alert

DAVE: its 2013 all over again

John: i'm bringing it back.

DAVE: beautiful

DAVE: god i love you

DAVE: have i told you that before

DAVE: i think i should tell you that more

John: you tell me that just about every month.

John: -he awkwardly puts an arm underneath his legs, placing one around his waist. after a few seconds to hoists himself to his feet, dave still securely held in his arms.-

John: i love you too.

DAVE: -Dave clings, unable to help his smile. Hes too kind. Holding on tight, Dave makes sure to try and ease his weight on him, propping his chin up on his shoulder.-

DAVE: what a big strong man you are

John: -flips his hair dramatically.- i work out twice a year, ya know. one for arms, another for legs. don't mean to brag. try not to get jealous.

DAVE: dont worry i wont

DAVE: im just swooning

John: -he grins down at him.- wait until i write this down in my diary! -slowly but surely john carries them both up the stairs and into his room, having a little trouble opening up his bedroom door but is eventually able to get it open with his foot.-

DAVE: -Dave whistles. What a complete dork. He loves it. He'd give him a smooch on the cheek if that wasn't too much. It felt like too much. He wiggles once in line with the bed.- Oooh my god.

DAVE: you didnt

DAVE: those sheets bro

John: that's right, john travolta, all of these bad boys.

John: over*

DAVE: i cant believe this

DAVE: and we get to sleep here?

John: do we get to sleep in the danny zuko themed john travolta bed sheets.

John: of course we do!!!

John: -john throws him down on the bed, going over to his closet and rummaging through it.-

John: hey dave, do you need pajamas?

DAVE: !!! -He lands, flopping and going to the covers.- pj pants if you got em

DAVE: -Off goes his sweatshirt, which lands over somewhere.- ill switch it up if i have to

John: -he takes out a couple pairs of pajama bottoms, turning back to dave, sweatshirt hitting him in the face as he does so.- ack!

John: dave, if you're attempting to seduce me, it isn't working.

DAVE: i look vaguely like igor there is no way i can seduce you in any sense

DAVE: do you actually have a tshirt though

DAVE: -he stand, wobbling over to pick his favorite pair. Some power rangers number apparently. God, he missed that show.-

John: you don't have a t shirt? -he removes the sweatshirt away from his face, dropping it on the floor next to him.-

DAVE: -Not really. He shrugs, switching out his pants for new ones. Wow, this is nice. Comfy, too.- didnt plan for it nah

John: oh, okay. yeah, i can get you a t shirt. -picks one at random, it's a cat shirt with dollar bills in the background, the words 'make it rain' printed on the front.-

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ectoBiologist [John] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

DAVE: -Nice. He tugs it over his frame, lumbering back to the bed to duck under the covers.-

DAVE: i missed this bed

DAVE: hooooly shit

John: if you missed it so much why didn't you suggest that we sleep together like we use to? -he lets his pants drop to the ground, placing one leg into the pajama bottoms.-

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Dave Strider's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

Dave Strider [DAVE] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

ectoBiologist [John] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

DAVE: im so shy you dont even know

John: you're too shy to ask that to your best friend of how many years?

DAVE: shh

DAVE: its hard to explain

DAVE: its not often i get the chance to sleep in someones bed and i feel weird about asking

DAVE: like were what

DAVE: some years old

DAVE: people dont do that often i dunno

DAVE: maybe its just me

John: -after the pajama bottoms are on he slides into the vacant spot next to dave.- did you just say we're some years old?

DAVE: its late dude

DAVE: -Turning on his side, Dave faces him tiredly, bruised eye hidden by the angle.- whos turning off the light though

John: fuuuuuck.

John: i'm just going to throw things at the light switch.

DAVE: ugh omg ill get it

John: -picks up a stuffed animal and chucks it at the light switch, it bounces off without shutting it off.-

John: no, i got it!

John: did you see that? i almost got it on the first try!

DAVE: yeah but did you consider that i

DAVE: -He slips out, padding over to slap the wall. Lights out, and he flashsteps back in bed.- dont give a shit

John: show off.

DAVE: i am

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ectoBiologist [John] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

DAVE: -He curls up a bit, squirming to get comfy.-

DAVE: youll thank me later

John: i'll thank you never.

John: -puts his cold feet on daves legs.-

DAVE: oooh my god

DAVE: cold

DAVE: cooold

DAVE: john

DAVE: this is such a cruel fate im dying here

John: i can't help it!

John: you're like an eternal space heater.

DAVE: -He scoots closer for him, giving a grumble as he tangles their legs.- there

DAVE: get warm

John: -slings his arm around his middle and snuggles closer to him.-

John: this is heaven.

DAVE: yeah?

DAVE: what makes it so great

John: i got you here.

DAVE: dude

John: what?

DAVE: that so

DAVE: i dunno its cute

DAVE: im glad to be here

John: i'll invite you over more.

DAVE: i mean i guess ill be here for a while anyways but

DAVE: you know

DAVE: if thats cool

DAVE: i mean we gotta wait for bro to sorta vacate

DAVE: to get a bunch of my stuff

John: i have smoke pellets and gas masks if it comes down to it.

DAVE: that wont be necessary

John: i'm still going to keep it open as one of our many options.

John: mainly because i never get to smoke people out all too often.

DAVE: -He gets an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in so he could warm up too. Or at least warm John up more.- yeah?

DAVE: i need to look at apartments

DAVE: see my options

John: if you find one i'll get you bunk beds as a house warming gift.

DAVE: dont get sappy on me now

John: every apartment should have a bunk bed.

John: hell, every house should have a bunk bed!

John: why is this not law?

DAVE: that pretty true

DAVE: become president and we can make it law

John: are you going to be my first lady?

DAVE: i thought youd never ask

DAVE: but lets get some sleep huh

DAVE: sleeping would do us good

John: yeah, yeah, sleep. -removes his glasses and places them on his nightstand before going back into his original position.-

DAVE: -Dave lets his eyes close, taking in a deep breath before relaxing. Thank god. Sleep.-

DAVE: sweet dreams

DAVE: you lil nerd


ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

TG: john

TG: do this thing with me

TG: wee

EB: you're going to have to be more specific.

EB: i don't exactly know what the "thing" is?

TG: not what i was expecting

TG: wee

EB: why do you keep saying that?

EB: is wee suppose to mean something?

TG: the irony is waiting john

TG: youre supposed to go woo

TG: like a cop car

TG: red and blue

EB: oh!

EB: do it again, do it again.

EB: i'll get it this time.

TG: its like you dont know me

TG: wee

EB: woo

TG: wee

TG: youre purpose in this game has been fulfilled time to die


ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

TG: john

TG: do this thing with me

TG: wee

EB: you're going to have to be more specific.

EB: i don't exactly know what the "thing" is?

TG: not what i was expecting

TG: wee

EB: why do you keep saying that?

EB: is wee suppose to mean something?

TG: the irony is waiting john

TG: youre supposed to go woo

TG: like a cop car

TG: red and blue

EB: oh!

EB: do it again, do it again.

EB: i'll get it this time.

TG: its like you dont know me

TG: wee

EB: woo

TG: wee

TG: youre purpose in this game has been fulfilled time to die


Kurloz [KURLOZ] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DID YOU TELL TUNA. >

KANKRI: Excuse me?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < TUNA JUST CAME BACK FROM TALKING TO YOU, AND HE'S ALL QUIET AND SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM. >

KANKRI: I h9nestly d9n't have the faintest clue at what y9u're trying t9 get fr9m me, Kurl9z. All I kn9w is that y9u sh9uldn't 6e accusing me f9r Mituna's 6ehavi9r change f9r I had n9thing t9 d9 with it. He 6egan t9 quiet d9wn in the middle 9f his sentence then pr9ceeded t9 walk away fr9m me with9ut even a farewell.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO TALK ABOUT THEN, VANTAS? >

KANKRI: 6ees and a device that the humans intr9duced t9 him, s9mething called a Game 69y.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ANYTHING ELSE? >

KANKRI: Uhm, I 6elieve he menti9ned s9mething a69ut a j9ke he heard the 9ther day. Th9ugh, he c9uldn't tell it c9rrectly, c9nsidering that he delivered the punchline 6ef9rehand.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO? DID YOU GO INTO FULL FUCKING LECTURE MODE ON HIM AT ANY POINT? >

KANKRI: I f9rced a laugh. Y9u t9ld me the last time y9u g9t int9 this h9stile m9ve t9 laugh at his j9kes, even if I didn't find them funny. S9 I did.

KANKRI: Is there a pr96lem with that?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ME, MUTANT. DID YOU GO LECTURE MODE ON HIM? >

KANKRI: I think y9u sh9uld watch y9ur w9rds, Makara.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I THINK YOU SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ANSWER ME, VANTAS. >

KANKRI: I can't d9 69th, Kurl9z.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ANSWER, THEN SHUT UP. >

KANKRI: N9. I didn't. After I f9rced the laugh he 6egan t9 spin this wh9le st9ry a69ut what w9uld happen if that j9ke actually happened in real life, and if there were 6ees inv9lved, 6ees made 9ut 9f c9mputer pixels, and the 6ees ate h9ney als9 made 9ut 9f c9mputer pixels. Trust me, I c9uldn't get a w9rd in even if I wanted t9.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < DID YOU JUST STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE A DUMBASS AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE. >

KANKRI: Are y9u seri9usly g9ing t9 place the 6lame 9n me even if I did? Y9u kn9w that Mituna has a l9ng hist9ry with c9nstant changes in m99d, d9n't y9u think that that might have a fact9r in what's happening t9 him right n9w? I mean, l99k at him, he's laying face d9wn 9n the gr9und as we speak taking a g9ddamn nap. Perhaps he just needed a nap, y9u're his m9irail, y9u sh9uld kn9w this.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < HE DOESN'T NAP AT THIS TIME. >

KANKRI: Then s9mething's wr9ng with him, I d9n't kn9w! I just think that y9u need t9 st9p with this h9stile attitude 9f y9urs. I did n9thing, s9 6ack 9ff.

KANKRI: 6esides, he's 6eginning t9 eat fl9wers n9w and l99ks t9 6e in a 6etter m99d. It l99ks like whatever did 69ther him has 6egun t9 wear 9ff.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < FUCK, HE GETS SICK IF HE EATS THAT SHIT. >

KANKRI: Just. Let me handle it. -He pushes 6y Kurl9z and t9wards Mituna wh9 already has dirt, insects, and saliva dripping 9ut 9f his m9uth.-

KURLOZ: *he norrowed his eyes and strode after him*

KANKRI: -Kankri squats d9wn in fr9nt 9f Mituna, 6l9cking him fr9m his current meal.- Y9u sh9uldn't 6e eating that, Mituna. If y9u d9, it'll make y9u v9mit unc9ntr9lla6ly c9nsidering that y9ur digestive system w9n't 6e a6le t9 handle the c9ntent this s9rt 9f dirt and plant life has. If y9u pr9mise t9 cease with this, I'll pr9mise t9 give y9u a handful 9f gummy candy whenever this desire t9 eat dirt resurfaces. If I find 9ut that y9u keep up with this filthy ha6it 9f y9urs, y9u will n9t get the candy and I will have t9 inf9rm Latula 9f y9ur acti9ns. If she finds 9ut she may take away y9ur m9st fav9rite game fr9m y9u. S9, that 6eing said. D9n't eat the dirt. G99d things will happen if y9u d9n't. 6ad things will happen if y9u will. Understand? -Mituna l99ks up at him, sl9wly n9dding his head 6ef9re spitting up the chewed dirt and crushed insects 6ack 9n the gr9und.-

KURLOZ: *he just stood there in disbelief* SIGNS: < WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK...>

KANKRI: -Kankri sh99ed Mituna away fr9m the pile 9f dirt, having him g9 after a 6utterfly instead.- Y9u're welc9me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS? >

KANKRI: 6lasphemy?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < HOW THE MOTHERFUCK DID YOU DO THAT SHIT, VANTAS? >

KANKRI: Y9u have g9t t9 6e kidding me. Kurl9z, all y9u have t9 d9 is 6ri6e him with s9mething 6etter than dirt. He likes gummy candy, I'm n9w 96ligated t9 reward him with gummy candy whenever he gets a strange urge t9 c9nsume dirt. It's simple. Y9u sh9w him what c9uld happen if it ch9ices n9t g9 thr9ugh with the thing y9u d9n't want him t9 d9, like staying healthy 9r gifting him a reward f9r his g99d 6ehavi9r and then y9u sh9w him the c9nsequences if he decides t9 keep 9n d9ing what he's d9ing.

KANKRI: Ch99ses*

KANKRI: Y9u need t9 6e firm 6ut fair with him.

KANKRI: It isn't r9cket science.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU'RE PULLING, BUT I DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO ANY OF THAT, BUT I WILL GRANT YOU THE HONOR OF A THANK YOU. >

KANKRI: 9h 69y, this has g9t t9 6e the peak 9f my afterlife. Thank y9u s9 much, Kurl9z, I d9n't think I c9uld have asked f9r any m9re than this granted gratitude fr9m y9u. -Says in a c9mpletely m9n9t9ne v9ice.-

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < FUCK YOU, MUTANT. JUST BE GLAD I'M GREATFUL. >

KANKRI: I w9uld appreciate it if y9u st9pped referring me as "mutant". It's 9ffensive.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S WHAT YOU ARE. >

KANKRI: W9uld y9u like f9r me t9 call y9u "assh9le"? 6ecause, it is what y9u are after all.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < CAREFUL KANKRI....YOU'RE GETTING AWFUL KRANKI. DO YOU NEED A NAP TOO? >

KANKRI: 9h n9, y9u pulled 9ut the half 6aked nickname P9rrim gave t9 me 6ef9re the sessi9n even started. What will I ever d9 n9w that y9u've 6r9ught it 6ack? 6ecause, it isn't like every69dy d9esn't say that when I get int9 a f9ul m99d. N9 sir, y9u're the first, Kurl9z. Y9u 9riginal tr9ll, y9u. G9sh, I just feel the sudden urge t9 run 6ack t9 my hive and hide away f9r the rest 9f eternity, simply 6awling my eyes 9ut f9r y9u terri6le, terri6le nickname.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < SHUT THE FUCK UP MUTANT. I DON'T NEED ANY LIP FROM YOU. YOU'RE JUST LUCKY YOU LIVED AS LONG AS YOU DID, I SHOULD'VE CULLED YOU THE SECOND I SAW YOU. I SHOULD'VE PAINTED MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES WITH THAT PRETTY PRETTY RED BLOOD OF YOURS. IT'S ACTUALLY A MIRACLE THAT MY DANCESTOR HASN'T DONE THE SAME TO YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A DANCESTOR. HIS VOICE IS AS ANNOYING AS YOURS. HE SHOULD BE TORTURED IN THE FOULEST WAYS THEN KILLED INFRONT OF EVERYONE, IT'S WHAT THE MESSIAHS WOULD WANT. >

KANKRI: Kurl9z, why d9n't y9u d9 every9ne the fav9r and st9p m9ving y9ur hands ar9und 6ecause I pers9nally d9n't give a fuck a69ut what y9u have t9 say. I d9n't care a69ut what y9ur "messiahs" think a69ut me and I damn well d9n't give a fuck a69ut what y9u think a69ut me 9r my dancest9r. I simply d9n't care. Why d9n't y9u f9cus that expl9sive anger 9f y9urs 9n s9mething m9re pr9ductive, like figuring 9ut h9w t9 l99k after y9ur m9irail 6ecause y9u 96vi9usly d9n't kn9w what y9u're d9ing.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I KNOW PERFECTLY MOTHERFUCKING WELL HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY PALEST OF LOVES. BUT YOU TRY TAKING CARE OF HIM AND WORKING FOR THE MESSIAHS WHILE STILL TRYING TO FIND TIME FOR YOUR BELOVED MATE. SHIT AINT EASY, THEN AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? ALL YOU DO IS HANG AROUND THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A TROLL, CRONUS. AND THE FUCKING SLUT, PORRIM. AND, NOT TO MENTION, YOU SPEND SO MUCH FUCKING TIME ANNOYING ANY AND EVERYONE WITHIN A FOUR MILE RADIUS. >

KANKRI: Excuse y9u, Kurl9z. I d9n't 6elieve that y9u have the right t9 talk ill a69ut neither P9rrim n9r Cr9nus. They have their faults and 96vi9usly I have mine, that's m9st likely the reas9n why we're a6le t9 all get al9ng with 9ne an9ther, 9f c9urse we d9 run int9 s9me speed 6umps al9ng the way, wh9 d9esn't, 6ut y9u d9n't get that right t9 trash them. I d9. And I usually d9 it in fr9nt 9f them, then they ret9rt with a ja6 9f their 9wn. It's a strange friendship. At least they didn't g9 a6s9lutely 6erserk and make their ex matesprite c9mpletely deaf like a certain s9me69dy I kn9w, then pr9ceed t9 6reak it 9ff with them after sewing their m9uth shut.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE MEULIN MOTHERFUCKING DEAF, MUTANT. >

KANKRI: Yet y9u did, and instead 9f helping her 9ut y9u den9unced y9ur red relati9nship and casted y9urself 9ff t9 the side f9r m9nths at a time in 9rder t9 av9id her, pretty c9wardly if y9u ask me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YOU TRY FUCKING UP YOUR REDDEST LOVE'S LIFE ONE DAY, MAKES YA FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR ETERMITY. >

KANKRI: Whatever, Kurl9z, I h9nestly d9n't care.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < NOT A SURPRISE. >

KANKRI: Mhm.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE YOU KNOW. >

KANKRI: What is?

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < THE DANCESTOR SHIT. WE CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER YET, EVERY TIME YOU TURN AROUND YOU SEE OUR DANCESTORS GETTING THEIR PALE HUG ON OR SOME WICKED SHIT LIKE THAT. >

KANKRI: Y9ur dancest9r seems t9 6e m9re 9pen minded than y9u are. I remem6er when y9u were like him, th9ugh that was als9 when y9u th9ught it was a g99d idea t9 c9nsume s9p9r slime.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < YEAH BUT BROTHER, YOU SEEM TO FORGET, GAMZEE AINT USING THE SLIME NO MORE. THAT'S WHY IM SAYING ITS A MIRACLE. >

KANKRI: Hm, yeah, y9u're right. They're like the 6etter versi9ns 9f 9urselves.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < EXCEPT YOURS YELLS ALOT AND ACTS LIKE THE BADDEST BITCH ON THE BLOCK. >

KANKRI: I stand 6y my statement, Kurl9z.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < MITUNA AND I BOTH AGREE HE'D BE "CUTER" IF HE JUST STOPPED HIS SCREECHING FOR THREE DAMN SECONDS. >

KANKRI: I think y9u sh9uld stay away fr9m him if y9u feel that way. Karkat may make y9ur ears 6leed when he 6egins t9 h9ller like he's l9st his think pan 6ut he has g99d intenti9ns. D9n't mess with him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I THINK I CAN AND WILL DO WHAT I WANT. >

KANKRI: N9t if it inv9lves him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHY EXACTLY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? >

KANKRI: 6ecause he's my dancest9r and I will l99k after him f9r as l9ng as he visits these dreams 6u66les if it means that y9u w9n't c9rrupt him.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < CORRUPT? BROTHER, NOW I'M OFFENDED. >

KANKRI: Y9u d9n't care when I'm 9ffended and right n9w I'm upset with y9u en9ugh t9 d9 the same.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WELL, YOU KNOW YOU CANT STOP ME FROM TALKING TO HIM. >

KANKRI: Are y9u g9ing t9 talk t9 him? 9r are y9u g9ing t9 use y9ur chuckle v99d99s 9n him. There is a difference.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I AINT GOING IN THAT FUCKED UP THINK PAN AGAIN. >

KANKRI: Again? Y9u used it 9n him?!

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < IT'S WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING SIGNED, BROTHER. >

KANKRI: L99k, -Ja6s him in the chest with his index finger hard.- 6r9ther. If y9u ever, -Ja6.- ever, -Ja6.- EVER, -JA6.- even think a69ut using y9ur fucked up mind tricks 9n him again. We WILL have pr96lems, understand?

KURLOZ: *his sewed mouth turned upwards to a smile. he pointed behind kankri, to where karkat was staning, talking to meenah*

KANKRI: D9 it and suffer the c9nsequences.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < WHAT CONSEQUENCES? >

KANKRI: N9ne if y9u d9n't g9 thr9ugh with it.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < ENLIGHTEN ME, BROTHER. IF I DO GO THROUGH WITH IT, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? >

KANKRI: I'll 6eat y9u senseless, Kurl9z. I'm n9t 9ne f9r vi9lence 6ut I w9n't let y9u d9 this.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < I COULD JUST USE MY CHUCKLE VOODOOS ON YOU THEN. >

KANKRI: Yeah, 6ecause y9u're t99 pathetic en9ugh n9t t9 fight me.

KURLOZ: SIGNS: < AINT FIGHTING NO ONE INFRONT OF MY PALEST OF LOVES, TUNA'S MOTHERFUCKING NAPPING BEHIND US, BROTHER. >

KANKRI: Then d9 him the fav9r and keep away fr9m Karkat if y9u intend t9 use y9ur a6ilities 9n him. That's all I ask is that y9u never d9 that t9 him again. 9n any 9f them actually. They're t99 y9ung f9r that, they have m9re imp9rtant things t9 place their f9cus 9n.

KURLOZ: *he raised an eyebrow and strode over towards karkat*

KANKRI: -He turned as Kurl9z walked 6y him.- Kurl9z. D9n't.

KURLOZ: *he waved his comment away as he stepped into their conversation, pushing meenah away and grabbing karkat's hand. his eyes begand to flash a little, a little purple as he looked up at karkat. Karkat looked terrified for a second, befoe tilting his head in confusion.*

KANKRI: -Kankri clenched his fists in rage, st9mping 9ver t9 Mituna 9nce he saw what Kurl9z was d9ing. He 6r9ught 9ut his whistle, kneeled next t9 the sleeping Mituna and 6lew 9n it hard. The shrill s9und w9ke him fr9m his sleep and he instantly 6egan t9 scream and cry f9r Kurl9z. Thr9wing a tantrum where we lay, having a c9mplete meltd9wn.-

KURLOZ: *he sprinted to mituna, his eyes still flashing.he managed to get him to calm down, just staring and holding the terrified troll. He cradled him, patting his cheek as he glared at kankri. A deep, raspy and downright terrifying voide echoing in his think pan* BROTHER, WE WERE JUST GETTNG OUR TALK ON.

KANKRI: N9, Kurl9z, y9u never verified that and y9u kn9w what I was thinking when y9u waltz 9ver t9 him like y9u did! D9n't y9u even try and tell me that y9ur acti9ns were 9f the up m9st inn9cence! -Kankri held his hands 9n either side 9f his head, eyes furr9wing as the v9ice ech9ed thr9ugh9ut his skull. He talked thr9ugh gritted teeth.- Get 9ut 9f my hand, Kurl9z. Get 9ut right n9w.

KURLOZ: *the vice got louder* I AINT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

KANKRI: Y9u had me w9rried.

KANKRI: I d9n't resp9nd easily t9 threats.

KURLOZ: *he rolled his eyes, setting mituna down, after kising his cheek* YOU DONT RESPOND TO ANYTHING EASILY.

KANKRI: Y9u d9n't kn9w h9w I resp9nd t9 anything 9ther than what y9u've made me resp9nd t9 which in this case w9uld 6e threatening me, degrading me, 6elittling me, d9ing the same f9r my friends, and using 9ffensive slurs against me. The 9nly reas9n I've did what iv'e d9ne is 6ecause 9f y9u.

KURLOZ: WHAT CAN I SAY? IT'S IN MY BLOOD, BROTHER.

KANKRI: N9, it's just 6ecause y9u're an ign9rant, cruel, and all ar9und awful tr9ll. This isn't a69ut 6l99d, if it was d9 y9u think that y9u w9uld have him as a m9irail and Meulin as a flush crush? 6ack 9n Alternia that w9uld have never 6een 9kay and y9u kn9w that.

KURLOZ: *he rolled his eyes*

KANKRI: Fine. R9ll y9ur eyes 9n me. I'm taking Karkat and I'm talking Meenah and we're all leaving.

KURLOZ: *karkat was standing behind kankri the entire time, watching the whole thing. then he spoke.* "YOU"RE TAKING ME, WHERE EXACTLY?"

KANKRI: -He st99d up and faced Karkat.- Away fr9m here.

KURLOZ: "ANY VAGUER?"

KANKRI: A place that isn't where we are right n9w.

KURLOZ: "ANY PARTICULAR REASON WHY? YOU CAN'T JUST EXPECT ME TO WALTZ AROUND THE BUBBLES WITH YOU OF ALL FUCKING TROLLS YOU KNOW."

KANKRI: Y9u, -P9ints t9 Karkat.- Are n9t t9 ass9ciate with him. -P9ints t9 Kurl9z.- He's danger9us and I d9n't want t9 see y9u get harmed. I kn9w, I kn9w, I'm n9t much 9f a 6etter 9pti9n 6ut if y9u all9w me t9 get y9u 9ut 9f this area with Meenah, might I add, I'll leave y9u 6e.

KURLOZ: "MY FUCKING MOIRAI DESCRBES EVERYONES DEATHS IN DETAILS AS WE DRIFT OFF TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE SLEEP IN A PILE OF SHITTY HORNS. HE ALSO MAKES OUT WITH THE FUCKING HEAD OF HIS DEAD FLUSH CRUSH AND PLAYS WITH THE OTHER SEVERED HEADS, I THINK I KNOW DANGEROUS, AND SKELETON GUY DOESN'T LOOK DANGEROUS TO ME."

KANKRI: L99k, Karkat, I d9n't expect y9u t9 understand just please listen t9 me. Even if it is just a 9ne time deal, listen t9 me. We need t9 get 9ut 9f here. All9w me t9 esc9rt y9u t9 9ne 9f y9ur friends at least, human 9r 9therwise. Why d9n't we search f9r the Pyr9pe girl 9r the 9ther Maryam. Hell, we can even g9 after the human 69y y9u've 6een sh99ting heart eyes at every time he isn't l99king.

KURLOZ: *Karkat glared at Kankri for a moment before plopping himself down next to Kurloz, Kurloz meerly smirked in victory*

KANKRI: Really, Karkat, really.

KURLOZ: *Karkat shrugged* "YES REALLY."

KANKRI: Why must y9u 6e s9 stu669rn? I'm trying t9 l99k 9ut f9r y9u.

KURLOZ: "I'M NOT A GRUB, KANKRI."

KANKRI: I kn9w y9u're n9t and I never said y9u are, y9u just d9n't kn9w Kurl9z all t99 well. 6asing him 9ff y9ur m9irail d9esn't c9unt as kn9wing him either, that w9uld 6e like 9thers saying they kn9w y9u 6ecause they kn9w me and vice versa.

KURLOZ: "IF PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS YOU, I WOULD HONESTLY LIE DOWN AND DIE."

KANKRI: Exactly! Y9u're helping me pr9ve a p9int here, Karkat.

KURLOZ: "I THINK I'LL LIE DOWN AND DIE JUST FOR THAT STATEMENT."

KANKRI: Karkat, n9w y9u're just 6eing 9verdramatic.

KURLOZ: "MY TOMBSTONE WILL READ 'HERE LIES KARKAT, HE DIED BECAUSE HE HELPED KANKRI.'"

KANKRI: 9kay, n9w that is the definiti9n 9f 9ver dramatic. D9 y9u h9nestly want t9 die here with all the Cr9nus's that swarm these 6u66les? N9t t9 menti9n the 9ther versi9ns 9f myself? Imagine that, Karkat. Imagine that 6eing y9ur entire afterlife if y9u decide t9 lay d9wn and die right here and right n9w.

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Unicornturds69
Jade Connors
"You can't kill the client Naruto, it doesn't work that way"
-Kakashi
Art is an Explosion!
-Deidara
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99.8% of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto.. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up three or more better anime than this, paste this on your signature please (E.G. Black Lagoon, Darker than Black, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni and Elfen Lied)
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OtakuGirl98 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :iconfav3dplz:
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Tanks for the fav :D
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Thank you for the favourite!
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Thank you very much for the fave!
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Thank for the :iconfavplz:! :iconpikalaplz:
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Thanks for the fave!
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thanks for th e fave
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Thanks for the faves.
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Thank you for the fave! :w00t:
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eeeee thank you for the watch
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